For those who may not understand why I had to challenge Barack Obama's contribution to the perception of black men being irresponsible, perhaps you can get it now. Fox News recently did a segment about "why black women on TV tend to be angry". In the segment, they make continuous reference to the "angry black woman", and point to several examples of black women who tend to be angry during interviews. The video clip is at the bottom of this comment.
I am not a fan of such stereotypes, and I hope that any black woman who is offended by this stereotype can understand why many black men are not happy with the stereotypes that are placed upon many brothers. I have always worked to be a responsible man. I personally find it offensive (whether Obama or anyone else is alluding to this concept) when others imply that black men as a collective behave irresponsibly. I agree with Malcolm, who felt that no matter how much respect people had for him, "if you insult my people, then you are insulting me".
I received about 130 emails yesterday from people who had mixed opinions about my article on Senator Obama's comments about black men needing to learn the art of fatherhood. They've been interesting and seem to call for more discourse. I noticed that the opinions were right down the middle and many of them were very strong in either direction. I will do a video on the topic soon, but I wanted to pose some quick thoughts I had as I was reading the emails (and yes, I do read my email and try to respond to you. I only ignore people who come off as flat out lunatics, since I don't mess with crazy people). Here are my thoughts.
1) Why do we assume that a broken family implies that a man "ran away from his responsibility"? Is it not also the case that many relationships also end due to actions of the woman as well? All of us know of at least one "insane baby's mama" - either you have dealt with one, been in a relationship with a man who was dealing with one, or perhaps you have BEEN ONE! This does not imply that the end of the relationship is most likely the fault of the woman, but it does take two to tango.
2) No. I didn't make my statement for political purposes or to make money. I don't get paid for what I do on the internet, and I am NOT a politician. I consider politicians, as a general rule, to be liars, and life is too short for me to spend all my time lying. Telling the truth is the only way I can sleep at night, even if it implies that some people don't like what I have to say. One thing you will always get from me is a straight shot, I assure you of that.
3) Yes, I support Obama 100% . Critiquing someone and keeping them honest doesn't mean you hate them. I critique my mama and I love my mama.
4) Obama has made a commitment to being race neutral in this election. However, if he or anyone else chooses to address race in this election I ONLY ASK THAT THEY BE FAIR. For Barack (or anyone else) to shut down anyone who speaks honestly about racism, and then to contribute to racial stereotypes about black male irresponsibility is not balanced. For those who feel that Obama was "telling it like it is", please remember this: Dr. Jeremiah Wright was also "telling it like it is", but he was shut down, disowned and told that his words needed to be muted. Honesty should not know racial boundaries. If Barack Obama is not comfortable going into a group of white males and being honest about racial stereotyping, then it is not acceptable for him to do that to black men.
5) There are ALWAYS going to be people in every group who do the wrong thing. White women are not stereotyped by the actions of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. I would never stereotype black women for the actions of a few "insane baby's mamas". So, the notion that it is ok to define black men by the actions of a select few is equally problematic. However, it is comfortable to say "these brothers need to start doing right" because it alleviates anyone else of the guilt of whatever role they play in the breakdown of their families, and it also contributes to the 400 year tradition of defining black men as being socially inferior. A person could just as easily celebrate the great choices of positive black men as he could mulling over the actions of the irresponsible.
Here is the issue: I do not feel that Barack would go into any other venue and paint any other group with a blanket indictment. He would not say "too many Jews support killing Palestinians", or "too many Catholic Priests are molesting little children". So, I am not sure why it is ok to say that "too many black men are ignoring their responsibilities and not being fathers". While all three of these stereotypes may have some element of truth to them, it seems that "truth in stereotyping" is only acceptable when dealing with black folks.
Racial conversation must be HONEST AND BALANCED. If you would not say something to a group of white men, then please don't say it to me.
15 comments:
I support and agree with Barack Obama's Father Day speech. And I believe we as America including the Black Men need to take resposiblity and our part of the disfunctionalty of the BLACK AMERICAN FAMILY. We all can make excuses and point fingers. But if we as a people want to move forward and toward be more CHRIST LIKE, more God LOVING,GOD FEARING people. We'll have to REPENT! And that not possible when we're pointing fingers, & making excuses. Which is what I'm hearing from all that disagrees with his speech. And all the men who are not doing what they need to do for their families, making excuses don't cut it, because and excuse is only justifying some wrongs you done. THAT'S IT! It don't make your WRONGS RIGHT! IT ONLY YOU TRYING TO JUSTIFY THE WRONG! MEN-UP (REPENT; APOLOGIZE;TAKE RESPOSIBLITY FOR THE RAISING OF THE CHILDREN. WHO OR LACKING GOD FEARING OBEDIENT, SERVENT OF THE FATHER OUR LORD. TYPE MEN)Be a hero the way God the Father want you to be. Remember in the Bible, It was Adam ( A BLACK MEN) that is suppose to be responsible for the JUDGEMENT of all Angel, Demon, Devil, women, men, servent, SPRIRTS, ALL. GOD is just trying to get you ready. So I ask you all BLACK MEN. R U READY????????
Lydia,
I agree with you!! All I have to say to SOME Black women out there who use their children as "pawns" need to STOP that foolishness as well!! If things don't go right between a father and mother don't
get back at him by denying him a place in the child's life because you are mad!! Now if he wants nothing to do with you or the kid then that is a different story!! But if he is making an effort to be in the child's life don't use the child to "get back at him"!!!
I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU DO CAUSE USUALLY BROTHER WITH YOUR TYPE OF MENTALITY ARE POOR PERFORMERS IN BED, AND THAT ELEMENT IS MORE ACCEPTABLE MY WHITE WOMEN THEN BLACK WOMEN. SO THANK YOU, AND CONTINUE TO LEAVE US ALONE.
The pejorative "angry black _______ (fill in the blank)" has become the new boogie man in this racially charged presidential campaign. It ranks right up there with the other racial code words, such as unelectable," "Muslim," "endorsed by terrorists," and "hate-mongering church." Never mind the fact that angry black woman may have something to be angry about. Speaking of Michelle Obama's outstanding personal achievements notwithstanding, she has withstood personal attacks on her personal appearance, her academic abilities, her character, and her patriotism. She has had her school papers dissected and analyzed by trolls searching for a non-existent Marxist ideology, she has had words put in her mouth, and the latest smear, by a conservative blogger named Larry Johnson, promised all who would listen, a videotape of Michelle using the word "whitey" in a speech at her church, a "hotbed for anti-Semites, Muslim extremists, and black Marxist revolutionaries who were going to slit the throats of white children in their sleep when Obama was elected." Of course no such tape ever existed, but that didn't stop the buzz. Some people even produced transcripts of her "speech." How desperate is that? Every website I've visited describes Michelle Obama as a "racist." When I inquired why, the respondents all said the same thing...she "hates white people," "she said so herself," "she wrote, she implied, she hinted, she just looks like she would have said, blah, blah, blah." Despite the lack of one scintilla of evidence, there are people in this country who want to believe the worst about you even it it's made up! How desperate is this?
This is a troubling problem and it needs to be fixed, and it needs to be fixed now, because the ramifications for African-Americans are evident. Now that we've worked for over four-hundred years to achieve equality, and to be judged "not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character," a new rule is being inserted into the game. Do we now have to pass a racial "sniff" test? Is there anyone we have ever been associated with, anything we have ever written, any meeting or church we have ever attended, or cause we have ever supported, that can now be used to disqualify us, not only from public office, but from tenure, promotion to an executive position, or even a loan. Ridiculous right? McCarthyism, right? Think about it.
One other note. I'm concerned that more and more blacks who have achieved success, usually on the backs of others, would use their new found fame, to berate and critisize other blacks, much to the instigation and enjoyment of a predominently white audience. Bill Cosby, Jesse Jackson, and Oprah Winfrey, are but a few who's personal lives can hardly serve as examples for others, spend more time castigating black sociopathology, and individuals they have identified as poster children for everything that is wrong in the black community. Don't get me wrong...these people have done a lot for America, the world, and the black community, but I'm more of a skeptic when it comes to their motives. Doing good works doesn't give you the right to make me (us) your punching bag. "Rappers," are only trying to make an honest living. A few do, but most don't. I find it curious that violent video games, violent movies, and pornography don't get the same scrutiny or critisism from these self-appointed moralists, possibly because that segment of our society that profits the most from this material, would not tolerate for one second, being preached to, by the likes of Oprah, Juan, or Bill, and the retaliation and blowback against them would be swift and severe.
Bottom line...the black community has enough critics. Joining the people who wish our community ill them won't give any additional weight or credence, and since pointing out the same sociopathology in the white community is a death wish, I would recommend that their time be better spent addressing the sources of these problems, rather than the victims.
Hi Dr. Boyce. You have to look at the occasion and the crowd Senator Obama was addressing. It was Father's Day and he was speaking at an African-American church. I'm not mad at that, however, if he was in a white church critising black fathers I would be up in arms about it.
My mother wouldn't let my father see me but I still blame him because if he really wanted to be a part of my life, nobody would have been able to stop him from being there for me. You have to fight for the people you love. Throughout high school and college we lived in the same city and I didn't hear from him.
I commend the fathers who fought to get to see their children but some of these fathers are using it an excuse to justify not being there for their children.
Rudy
Maybe the reason that black women are angry is due to the fact that black men have no moral nor inner strength to be fathers to their children. The one person that could protect and nurture black women has abondoned them. Also, the fact that most black men seemingly prefer white women has perhaps created a feeling of inadequacy about their physical beauty.
The stereotyping of segments of the African American community is as old as this country. The danger is that we as a people have internalized the negative images and information in which we've been consistently fed. It has become a self-fulfilling prophesy. We buy into the negativity wholesale and not too many of us are offended when these stereotypic statements are presented to us as though factually accurate. When you begin to believe that you are negative and that nothing good comes from within you, you engage in self-destructive pathological behavior. You live out the stereotypes and negative expectations. In terms of Obama's speech, which actually occurred on a world platform (for those of you who believe his comments were confined to the church where he was speaking, you are fooling yourselves), he lended credibility to the negative preconceptions regarding men of African descent not only in this nation, but throughout the African Diaspora. I realize he is attempting to assure certain demographics that his message for African Americans is one of personal responsibility, but by doing so he does great damage to our already fragile condition. I support Barack's candidacy, and although I realize he is treading unchartered territory, it is imperative that he stop this collateral destructive conduct towards our race. As a race of people we should not believe that we must silently accept this type of degradation in order to have our first African American President; with all due respect, this is really sick logic.
Black women have many reasons to be angry. What is sad is that they spend all their time angry at black men. Black men do earn some of that anger. But I also think that black women should spend some time being angry at black women who make it hard for men to be fathers. They should also spend some time being angry at the system that makes it hard for a black man to get a job, which makes it even harder to pay child support in this terrible system. The child support system is one of the reasons that families break up because men get slaughtered by it. You get another job and they take all your money! You fall a little behind and they send you to jail! I don't think black women realize just how hard this is. I know that raising a child is tough, but if someone were to send you to jail for making less money or missing a few payments, that would not be fair.
Black men are not the only ones to blame in all this. Me and my friends try very hard to be good fathers, and some us just can't. IF the mother doesn't want you around or has poisoned the child against you, you are an outsider.
Barack needs to think about some of these things before his next speech.
so making an obvious observation is racist? stating the truth is racist? black men do not care for their children or their women. ask a black woman. i refuse to look truth in the face and deny it, thats cowardice.
Your comment is certainly racist when you say 'black men do not care for their children or their women'. That is a blanket, generalizing statement and only a racist would make it. What is fair to say is 'some black men don't care for their children just as some white men don't care for their children' (No doubt some asian or hispanic men don't either). That is 'the truth' - what you said is false and plain stupid.
You are right El Rancho. So many whites can get away with these stupid stereotypes. But the stereotypes are based on their lack of education about their racism. They were trained to believe that black people are less than human. My mother used to joke about how white people thought that black people grew tails at night. So, their thinking that we don't care about our women and children is a reflection of that ignorance.
Yes, James. I heard about that tail myth.....
It's amazing how the minds of so many white Americans seem to have been warped and twisted beyond any kind of reason. You're right, they really have been 'trained'. White South Africans did the same thing during aparteid.
el rancho, i concede one of your points. i should have said the majority of black men. not a blanket idicment of all black men.
Note to the racist above me: did you know that the majority of white men are stupid enough to get married and then leave their children in divorce? I guess white men don't give a shit about their kids either. If being absent from the home means you don't care about your kids, then that makes all male divorcees just as bad as black men who never get married.
I also love how Bill Cosby, the man who cheats on his wife and was accused of drugging and groping a woman, tries to teach men about family values. Crazy.
james, you are woefully uninformed my man. until you recognize and accept the fact of what has happened to the black family, then youre going to perpetuate the problem. its not the white mans fault, it is quite frankly your fault and others of your ilk who deny and deny and then tranfer blame and change the subject. the institution of marrige and family IS erodoing in this country, acrosss all racial lines. to hear you, there can be no real asessment and ridicule of any black instituion, outmoded ideas or behavior. to do that is racist in your limited scope.. are you above reproach? can you not see that there is a problem in your community? you have assumed im white, assumptions are a form of prejudice. you have prejudged me havent you james? get informed james.
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