News: Protestors Planned to Fight Black Student’s Arrest and Trial

Kennett, MO. – Heather Ellis, a young college student out of Kennett, MO is now facing 15 years in prison if she is sentenced after being accused of cutting line at a local Walmart. Her case has gotten the attention of the nation, and has been the subject of extensive online protests.

Heather was in a Walmart store 3 years ago with her cousin. The two split up to find the shortest line. Since her cousin was in the shorter line, Heather joined him. That’s when the clerk accused Heather of cutting in front of the other customers. An argument ensued, leading to the manager and security guard being called, and finally the police.

The incident left Ellis, an honor student on her way to medical school, charged with disturbing the peace, trespassing and two counts of assaulting a police officer. After Heather refused to sign a plea agreement, Stephen Sokoloff, the town’s prosecutor, filed felony charges against Heather.

 

Click to read.

Credit Card Companies are Certainly Out to get You During This Crisis

By Dr. Boyce Watkins

www.DrBoyceMoney.com

In case you weren’t sure, credit card companies are not out to help you. If you are financially illiterate and uninformed, they are going to exploit you. If you are worried about the financial crisis, they are going to prey on your fear to get money out of you. They are also doing exactly what the rest of us are doing: trying to remain protected in a fragile economy.

The stimulus is stymied. The bailout is a failout. The stock market has consistently given a “thumbs down” to every piece of legislation passed in response to this crisis. Our economy is like the sick man who won’t respond to antibiotics. While the results of the latest package are yet to be seen, the truth is that no one is sure what will work. Every company is out to protect their assets and hold on to their cash, which means they no longer have much interest in loaning money to you.

Yes, this is true even if you have a good credit score, which is the ironic part.

Customers are opening their monthly statements to find that credit card companies have started to either ration credit (give less of it) or raise the interest rate being paid on outstanding debt. This doesn’t even count all the dirty tactics used, like using your payments to pay off low interest debt first, quietly getting rid of the grace period or charging interest on your balance from the prior two months vs. the current one. Even when you’ve been making payments on time for years, banks keep raising the bar to maximize shareholder wealth. When liquidity is scarce, those giving out water demand a higher cost per bottle. Additionally, higher default rates have justified the increase in interest rates, but higher interest rates increase the likelihood of default. It’s a nasty cycle, really.

Lawmakers are trying to intervene. Congressional hearings have taken place. Banks are being scolded by senators who keep telling them that this form of business practice is unethical and that they are gouging the American consumer. All this might be true, but what is also true is that you can’t force banks to loan you money. Also, it is very difficult, if not impossible, to legislate a strong economy.

If you have a less than stellar financial history, there is an even greater opportunity for your credit card company to raise your interest rates. If you have defaulted on other loans or are a slow payer in other areas, then they have no problem telling you to pay up or ship out. The days of easy money are long behind us, and companies are dramatically shifting their business practices.

The bottom line is that THEY’VE GOT YOU. They know that you’ve become addicted to the debt they so readily offered in the past, and this debt has become the lifeblood for the lifestyle to which you’ve chosen to become accustomed. They know that they can charge you a higher interest rate because you can’t do anything about it. Like a drug addict who is angry about paying more for his product, you really don’t have any other choice.

Well, maybe you do.

Here is one solution: tighten your economic belt. That means putting together a financial fitness plan today that consists of getting rid of as much debt as possible. I’ve mentioned in prior articles and on our website that paying off debt can be one of the best investments you make with your money. This is especially true if you have a stable job and are paying a high rate of interest to your credit card company.

So, the Dr. Boyce Challenge for this month is simple: Create a budget which includes the steady elimination of credit card debt. That means you should list every single expense you have for the entire month on one piece of paper or a spreadsheet. Don’t leave anything out. Count the money you want to use for getting your hair done, your nails, paying your mortgage, car note, whatever. Count everything. That will be your first step toward obtaining financial fitness.

As you create the budget, allocate at least 10% of your monthly after tax income toward reducing credit card debt. So, if you earn $3,000 per month after taxes,$300 per month should be allocated toward removing credit card debt, not including interest. So, if you owe $5,000 in credit card debt, you can remove this debt in roughly a year and a half. While $300 may seem like a lot of money to find in your budget, it’s there if you look hard enough. In fact, if you spend $10 per day on lunch and/or coffee, you can find the bulk of the money by taking your lunch to work. Make this one of the first bills you pay, not the last. The last bill is the one that only gets paid half the time. It’s easier to negotiate with creditors if you don’t need them so much. Take small steps toward finding your financial freedom.

Next month, we will move to step 2 of the Dr. Boyce Financial Challenge. While I confess that this change won’t be easy, I can promise that it will be worth it in the end. Be strong and remain focused, this is your opportunity to shine.

Dr Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “Financial Lipo 101: From financial fat to fitness”, to be released in April, 2009. For more information, please visit www.DrBoyceMoney.com.

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What Love Means to Me – A Tribute to Valentine’s Day

Brought to you by The Great Black Speakers Bureau - The #1 Black Speakers Bureau in the world.

To get financial advice from Dr. Boyce, please visit www.DrBoyceMoney.com.  To see video commentary from Dr. Boyce, please click here.

Dr. Boyce Watkins

www.BoyceWatkins.com

FYI: I should be on the NPR show "Tell Me More with Michel Martin", a journalist for whom I have tremendous respect.  We recorded today with Shelby Steele, a conservative scholar out at Stanford and another scholar named Jon Powell, at Ohio State.  The conversation is interesting, and I recommend you give it a listen.  You can learn more about the show at this link: http://www.npr.org/blogs/tellmemore/.

I also got another call yesterday from "The Big O"...yes, you know who I am talking about.  Apparently, there is some interest in my Financial Lovemaking Book.  I'll keep you posted on that one, since I am not 100% sure if my demographic matches that of the Great Ms. Winfrey.  While I feel that Financial Lovemaking can work well for her audience, my alignment with the hip hop community may make for an awkward fit.  The fact that I engage in critical analysis (meaning that no one is 100% good or 100% bad) means that I sometimes make enemies in this game because of my refusal to kiss anyone's butt too much.  But I do give respect where it is due, and I consider Oprah to be an amazing role model for all of us.  The same goes for President Obama. 

In light of the fact that Valentine’s Day is coming, I was thinking about the whole idea of love.  I must also admit that I thought about love when I noticed the singer Chris Brown might have ruined his career in this mad situation with Rihanna (apparently, there may be some abuse in that relationship, I’m not sure).  Either way, I think that anyone who has been young and in a relationship understands how stupid and crazy things can happen.  I’ve never considered Chris Brown to be a bad person.  But he may have done a bad thing.

Seeing the huge loss that these two young people may have imposed on their lives (Chris and Rihanna), led me to reflect on love and what it means to me.  Here is my personal perspective on love….love it or hate it (haha).

What Love Should and Should Not Be

By Dr. Boyce Watkins

www.BoyceWatkins.com

I’ve lived a bit of life and made my share of mistakes.  But as a professor, I am trained to learn from poor choices and grow from them.  Most processes have a purpose and a pattern.  If you think hard enough and honestly confront your failures, triumphs and observations, you can usually walk away with a bit of insight.  The term “No pain, no gain”, can certainly be applied in the game of love, and I intend to gain from my own personal portfolio of blissful heartache.

So, I’ve come up with some “Rules of Love” out of respect for Valentine’s Day.  It’s not scientific and not a fit for everyone.  But it comes from the head, the heart and all the other body parts I can’t mention in this article.  So, at least you know it’s sincere.

Love should be RESPECTED: One of the silliest things I see in some relationships is that people seem to be most interested in chasing the person who loves them the least, while kicking their greatest admirers to the curb.  They choose the best option they can GET instead of the best option they’ve already GOT.  There is something that people love about a challenge.  It can be a natural instinct to equate kindness with weakness and easy access with a lack of value. Many of us are guilty of crying over the person who ignores us and ignoring the person who cries for us.  Someone who gives you their heart can also take it away, so we must respect those who’ve truly earned it.

Love should be EXPECTED:   Part of the reason that some of us spend our time chasing the loser who doesn’t love us is because deep down, we feel that someone who cares for us must be flawed or unworthy of our time.  On the other hand, it is easy to feel sorry for yourself when you see that the one you usually want doesn’t want you back.  The truth of the matter is that if someone disrespects the appreciation you are showing toward them, then they don’t deserve your love anyway.  You should love yourself enough to walk away from those who choose not to treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Love should be given to YOURSELF: Part of demanding the love that you deserve is engaging in the difficult art of SELF LOVE.  Many times, we look in the emotional mirror and see blemishes, flaws, faults, mistakes and the ugliest sides of who we are.   Rather than greeting the world with our heads held high, we keep our heads down and hope no one notices that we are not as good as everyone else.  Loving yourself is similar to learning to love another person:  there is a point where you must simply accept the flaws.   You must realize that you are no more defective and no more perfect than everyone else, and that you too deserve to be happy.  If you can’t love yourself, then it’s damn near impossible to truly love someone else, since you are only offering them what you perceive to be damaged goods.

Love is meant to be CELEBRATED:  I’ve admittedly never been able to fully grasp the concept of homosexuality, but I’ve never had a problem with gay marriage.  One thing I believe is that love was created by GOD: that includes love between a man and a woman, a man and a man or a woman and a woman.  There should not be religious, social or racial boundaries imposed on meaningful love, for we do not get to choose the shape, size or complexion of the package.  When God blesses someone with such a powerful connection, this love should be celebrated by all of us and not judged or held in contempt.   Melting someone’s halo of happiness by dousing it with a flood of hate is a counter-productive use of our time and a wasteful spiritual endeavor. 

Valentine’s Day is meant to be YEAR ROUND:  You should not need a special holiday to show someone you love them.  You should tell them something good, positive, and affirming every time you see them, because this will make that person feel good.  You should not need corporate America’s permission and some hyper-commercialized holiday as your excuse to show affection.   I encourage you to say ten nice things per day to people you care about, which may include complimenting them on their clothes, their hair, their personality, their beauty or their presence.  It will make them feel good and leave a lasting psychological impact.  Our words are “emotional money” and we should be consistently making donations.

Love should be REFLECTIVE:  The hardest way to get what you want is to selfishly pursue it, take it or relentlessly absorb it.  That’s like waiting for your paycheck and never showing up for work.  If you are in a truly loving situation, you get what you want by REFLECTING IT.   If you WANT more success out of life, you GIVE more hard work.  If you WANT better grades, you GIVE more time to the library.  If you WANT more appreciation from your partner, you GIVE more attention and affection.  If you choose to share your love with someone who deserves it, then they will give the love right back to you, with interest.  Like a healthy economy, the cycle will become recursive and productive trade increases the value of each partner’s “Life Portfolio”.   In pleasure, pain and everything in between, to get more, you must give more.  You must also make payments in the currency deemed most valuable to your partner.  There’s no way around that fact.

Love should be PRACTICED:  Love is not just a feeling, an emotion, a whim or something that makes your skin shiver.  Loving someone is a DELIBERATE ACT and a series of habits designed to sustain and maintain the relationship you have with one another.  The work of the greatest writers in history was not always driven by inspiration and a desire to write…..sometimes, it was the act of sitting down each day and forcing themselves to write which eventually inspired them to do their greatest work.  In other words, love is a series of proactive habits, choices and behaviors that correlate with your desire to have a meaningful and stable relationship with another person.  It’s not something you just randomly “fall into” and “out of”…..it is something you choose to do.

Love should be CONTEMPLATED: When it comes to dating, I tell my daughter and God daughters the following: “If a man is not someone you can see raising your children, then don’t even go out on the first date.”  They look at me like I’m crazy, but the point is simple:  While you cannot easily choose to release yourself from the psychological grips of love, you have some ability to choose who you are going to fall in love with in the beginning.  Most of us don’t meet someone and decide that we are going to be with this person for years.  There is always the first glance, the first date, the first kiss, the first touch, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a situation that doesn’t make any sense to you.  So, if you don’t start with point A, you can never reach point Z.  This makes the most sense when you can see that point Z is not the place you want to visit with this particular person.

Love should be REMEMBERED: A big challenge for many young or single people (and even those who are married) is that we spend our time chasing the love and affection that is most intriguing to our hormones, while ignoring the love that is most tried and true.  A man might spend hours on the phone with a pretty lady who doesn’t even like him, but simultaneously ignore his grandmother who would gladly give her life for him.  Valentine’s Day is not just the day you send “sweets to your sweetie”.  It is also the day you shower love on your mother, brother, sister, father, best friend, homeboy, children, grand parents and all the people who will love you long after your sweetie has become sweet on someone else.   In the city of love, new buildings are shiniest and most appealing.  But the older buildings are the sturdiest and most enduring.  

Love is LIFE:  Not only does the act of love create and sustain life, it is also the greatest part of our journey through life.  We may or may not remember or be inspired by our professional or educational achievements, but we have an immediate and powerful emotional reaction when we reflect on the love we’ve experienced over the years.  Thinking about children, family or ex-lovers can create an emotional response that can’t be matched by a corporate job or advanced degree.  I tell my students that one of the most important decisions they will ever make is who they choose to spend their lives with.  I’ve seen many people drive themselves down the path to hell by choosing to share their love with someone who deserves it the least.  Like the most amazing roller coaster, the journey of love is long, complicated, exciting, scary and fulfilling.  So, while we’re on this journey, we should make sure we turn on the GPS.

Happy Valentine’s Day and I hope this day inspires you to find the love that exists in your life.  It’s all around you if you learn to look for it.  Even in an economy like this one, the love in your life can make you a billionaire. 

Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University.  For more information, please visit www.BoyceWatkins.com.    

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Black Relationships and other random thoughts

by Dr. Boyce Watkins
www.BoyceWatkins.com

People sometimes wonder why I don't talk much about my love life. Well, beyond the fact that it would probably bore you, I'll admit that there are some tricky and sensitive issues that might come up. But in case you're wondering, I am not single because I am gay (not that there is something wrong with gay people, I'm just not one of them). I am not married because I take marriage very seriously and realized that my work in the black community would put a family in harm's way. I never thought that Malcolm or Martin should have gotten married either, since I'd never forgive myself if my wife and children were killed or left homeless because of something I've done. The first thing your enemies do when they want to undermine you is to go after your family and/or your source of income. Just ask Bill O'Reilly.

At any rate, I have some friends who are still single, and I listen to them explain why they can't find what they are looking for. For some, it's the "blame the world" strategy - "Black men can't handle an intelligent black woman", or "I'm just too nice and men are dogs"....blah blah blah. On the flip side, I've heard Black men say things about Black women that are simply untrue. Personally, I have no trouble finding great Black women, especially when I learned to look at the spirit and mind along with the body and face. I know many gorgeous women who might have stunned me 10 years ago, but wouldn't get the time of day from me now.

One thing that some of us are missing is the kind of introspection necessary to realize that YOU are the only person who is always present in your relationships. I have a friend who is a drop dead gorgeous college professor and fully convinced that it's never her fault that her relationships are falling apart. All the while, I've seen that same friend walk toward the jerks and away from the guys who might treat her with respect. At the end of the day, she will always be confused, because she only chooses to give her love to those who deserve it the least.

This journey of learning to love yourself enough to know how to give love and receive it properly is a long one. I've personally traveled much of that journey myself. Although I didn't marry my ex-fiance, I was proud of that relationship. The great time we spent together was a reflection of how I'd grown to be able to give the right kind of love and also demand the right kind of love in return. She strengthened my belief in God, for I truly saw her as an angel on earth.

Like most of you, I have experienced the ups and downs of relationships (ho-hum), and all the bliss and pain that comes with it. I've dealt with baby-mama drama, as the one great mistake I made in life was to have a child at a young age with the wrong person. I will pay for that mistake for the rest of my life, although I worked like hell to try to fix it. I fight for father's rights because unlike the confusing speech given by Barack Obama this year on Father's Day, I unconditionally reject the idea that Black relationships don't work solely because Black men are irresponsible buffoons who don't want to be good parents. I tried like hell to be in my own daughter's life, even though I was consistently rejected from it, and I've gotten emails from hundreds of other fathers who feel the same way. At the end of the day, relationships last when both partners make it work, and children are healthiest when both parents understand the importance of having both the mother and the father in the life of the child. You can't blame the opposite sex for everything. That goes for both men and women....no matter how bitter you may be.

Finally, I believe in black love, and I consider black women to be the most beautiful women on the planet. So, if you ever hear of me getting married, it will most likely be to a Black woman. But if you were to ask me about the breakdown of the black family and black relationships, I would say that it takes two to tango. If your relationships are not working out, relieving yourself of all blame is not only going to confuse you, it is also incredibly irresponsible.

At any rate, the article is below...enjoy!

He's not dumping you because ...

Writing about dating is my full-time job, so, naturally, I hear a lot of pretty deranged tales of love gone wrong. But last week I received a letter from a woman who was convinced that men wouldn’t go out with her because she was just too … beautiful.

He's not dumping you because ...

She fully believed her breathtaking attractiveness was anything but a man-magnet — as one might expect. Instead, she said, her beauty acted as a Romeo-repellant, causing suitors to run screaming from her. Obviously, I explained the situation to her (perhaps it wasn’t her gorgeous outsides, but her narcissistic insides that were doing the damage), but it did get me to thinking about all the other ridiculous reasons that women — myself included — come up with when they get dumped.

Along with being too beautiful, here are a few other qualities I guarantee nobody will ever break your heart over:

Too smart: I once had a friend who was convinced she couldn’t keep a boyfriend because she was too smart for the male population. She was positive her staggering intellect was turning them off. Uh, no. What drove the men away (and most of her female friends, as well) was the fact that she was mean. We’re talking stupendously cruel. Her definition of smart translated into cutting people down until they felt like the smallest person on earth. Not exactly a turn-on, no matter how cleverly it’s worded.



Click to read.

Statistics Show that Barack Obama was Wrong about Black Fathers

Earl Ofari Hutchinson wrote an excellent piece citing a study that shows that black absentee fathers are more engaged with their children than white absentee fathers or absentee fathers of any ethnic group.

Many black males continue to be insulted by Barack Obama and his speech writers relying on stereotypes rather than hard evidence in his Father's Day Speech. Barack is a man whom I will always respect, but what he has done is unforgivable.

What's more interesting, as Earl correctly points out, is that Barack's father was not African American. He was a Kenyan National who wanted to leave the country. So, perhaps we should spend some time asking ourselves why we were so quick to accept this blanket indictment of black men, while allowing Obama to use his own father's choices to provide moral authority for him to use stereotypes.

I consider Barack to be one of us. But he also represents "all of us". Rather than pandering to the crowd and telling them what they want to hear, I hope that one day he can gain the courage to tell people what they NEED to hear.

What Barack Obama did to the good black fathers of America was wrong. My urgency in supporting him is not as great as it was before. With each passing day, I become more and more confused as to whether we are putting a black man in the white house, or a man who is afraid of being associated with other black men. When it is time for him to take a stand against racism, I hear that he is "everyone's president", not the black candidate. But when it comes time for him to attack black men with petty stereotypes, I hear that he is a "black man" and therefore, able to engage in these sorts of attacks.

Which one is it? I grow weary of the games.

Fox News: Black Women are Typically Angry

For those who may not understand why I had to challenge Barack Obama's contribution to the perception of black men being irresponsible, perhaps you can get it now. Fox News recently did a segment about "why black women on TV tend to be angry". In the segment, they make continuous reference to the "angry black woman", and point to several examples of black women who tend to be angry during interviews. The video clip is at the bottom of this comment.

I am not a fan of such stereotypes, and I hope that any black woman who is offended by this stereotype can understand why many black men are not happy with the stereotypes that are placed upon many brothers. I have always worked to be a responsible man. I personally find it offensive (whether Obama or anyone else is alluding to this concept) when others imply that black men as a collective behave irresponsibly. I agree with Malcolm, who felt that no matter how much respect people had for him, "if you insult my people, then you are insulting me".

I received about 130 emails yesterday from people who had mixed opinions about my article on Senator Obama's comments about black men needing to learn the art of fatherhood. They've been interesting and seem to call for more discourse. I noticed that the opinions were right down the middle and many of them were very strong in either direction. I will do a video on the topic soon, but I wanted to pose some quick thoughts I had as I was reading the emails (and yes, I do read my email and try to respond to you. I only ignore people who come off as flat out lunatics, since I don't mess with crazy people). Here are my thoughts.

1) Why do we assume that a broken family implies that a man "ran away from his responsibility"? Is it not also the case that many relationships also end due to actions of the woman as well? All of us know of at least one "insane baby's mama" - either you have dealt with one, been in a relationship with a man who was dealing with one, or perhaps you have BEEN ONE! This does not imply that the end of the relationship is most likely the fault of the woman, but it does take two to tango.

2) No. I didn't make my statement for political purposes or to make money. I don't get paid for what I do on the internet, and I am NOT a politician. I consider politicians, as a general rule, to be liars, and life is too short for me to spend all my time lying. Telling the truth is the only way I can sleep at night, even if it implies that some people don't like what I have to say. One thing you will always get from me is a straight shot, I assure you of that.

3) Yes, I support Obama 100% . Critiquing someone and keeping them honest doesn't mean you hate them. I critique my mama and I love my mama.

4) Obama has made a commitment to being race neutral in this election. However, if he or anyone else chooses to address race in this election I ONLY ASK THAT THEY BE FAIR. For Barack (or anyone else) to shut down anyone who speaks honestly about racism, and then to contribute to racial stereotypes about black male irresponsibility is not balanced. For those who feel that Obama was "telling it like it is", please remember this: Dr. Jeremiah Wright was also "telling it like it is", but he was shut down, disowned and told that his words needed to be muted. Honesty should not know racial boundaries. If Barack Obama is not comfortable going into a group of white males and being honest about racial stereotyping, then it is not acceptable for him to do that to black men.

5) There are ALWAYS going to be people in every group who do the wrong thing. White women are not stereotyped by the actions of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. I would never stereotype black women for the actions of a few "insane baby's mamas". So, the notion that it is ok to define black men by the actions of a select few is equally problematic. However, it is comfortable to say "these brothers need to start doing right" because it alleviates anyone else of the guilt of whatever role they play in the breakdown of their families, and it also contributes to the 400 year tradition of defining black men as being socially inferior. A person could just as easily celebrate the great choices of positive black men as he could mulling over the actions of the irresponsible.

Here is the issue: I do not feel that Barack would go into any other venue and paint any other group with a blanket indictment. He would not say "too many Jews support killing Palestinians", or "too many Catholic Priests are molesting little children". So, I am not sure why it is ok to say that "too many black men are ignoring their responsibilities and not being fathers". While all three of these stereotypes may have some element of truth to them, it seems that "truth in stereotyping" is only acceptable when dealing with black folks.

Racial conversation must be HONEST AND BALANCED. If you would not say something to a group of white men, then please don't say it to me.