Sunday, March 1, 2009

Chris Brown and Rihanna Back Together: What We Need to Understand

 

By Dr. Boyce Watkins

www.BoyceWatkins.com

Forgive me for diving into the crazy world of pop culture, but the fact that Chris Brown and Rihanna are a couple again is something on which I had to comment. I am not speaking on the issue because I love Chris Brown or Rihanna’s music (they are ok). I am commenting because young people need to have a serious conversation about relationships and domestic violence.

Here’s the deal: I don’t know exactly what Chris Brown did and did not do. From the picture I saw and police reports, it appears that he may have done some serious damage to Rihanna’s face. Again, I am not convicting Chris Brown and I am not pretending to know if he is a bad human being. In fact, Chris Brown could very easily be a good man who did a very bad thing. But if he did do this damage to Rihanna, then he should pay a price for his actions.

But it appears that Chris won’t be paying a price, since Rihanna does not seem to be interested in pressing charges. Rihanna’s actions are nothing new: Every day, across America, women are beaten to a pulp by their boyfriends (roughly 13,000 incidents per day are reported to police), and then choose to excuse their inexcusable behavior. The prosecutor prepares a solid case that will send the guy packing for years, and the case falls through because the woman chooses not to press charges. So, as extraordinary as Rihanna might be as a performer, her behavior is actually quite ordinary.

Chris Brown, if he was the cause of the facial damage shown on pictures released to the media, needs serious counseling. He needs to learn that growing up watching your father beat your mother (as Chris admitted on the Tyra Banks show) may establish a destructive social norm, thus making you believe that violence is appropriate in male/female relationships. He also needs to learn about the serious consequences for brothers who choose to beat up on their partners. Even if Rihanna is crazy, provocative or evil, you have no business laying your hands on a woman. Not only is violence wrong, but it will land you in a criminal justice system that destroys the lives of young black men every day. I understand young people making mistakes (I’ve made far too many to count), but you must learn from those mistakes, and we are not doing young people any favors by pretending that this didn’t happen.

Rihanna needs her own counselor. She needs one that will give her and other young women the self-esteem to realize that there are few genuine excuses for a man to put his hands on you. She needs to have someone who truly understands where all this is going, to make her realize that no matter how cute he is, how popular, how rich, or how charming, a man like this can eventually kill you. You don’t know domestic violence until you’ve seen DEATH. It starts innocently enough, and eventually escalates to the point that someone is in the morgue. Any self-respecting adult should, in my humble opinion, refuse to sit idly to the side and allow your teenager to ponder reasons that Chris Brown should have hit Rihanna. No, he should not have done this, and I encourage Chris to make sure he sends the same message.

Old people can be obnoxious. We pee on the parades of young love by writing articles like the one I am writing right now. I hate doing this, but I have my reasons. My friend, a professor in Florida, died at the hands of her husband, who then killed himself and left her two young children without parents. This happens every day, and most of these cases start out like the situation between Chris Brown and Rihanna. In fact, your daughter, friend, sister, mother or cousin may have that lovable boyfriend who only shows peeks and hints of violent behavior, but just enough that your gut is telling you that something isn’t quite right. Listen to your instincts, for they’re trying to tell you something. Love should not end with anybody getting punched. Domestic violence is not a silent killer…..it usually warns you all along the way. Whether you choose to listen is up to you.

Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Finance Professor at Syracuse University and author of “What if George Bush were a Black Man?” For more information, please visit www.BoyceWatkins.com.

More commentary from Dr. Boyce: Why Chris Brown was Dead Wrong in the Rihanna Situation.

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

With all do respect I am growing tired of the absolute that "there is no reason to every put your hands on a women". My problem with this and similar statements is that simply by the accident of birth or because one has ovaries means no violence. Does having tentacles means you may be beaten at will. We laugh at women berating men. When in the film, “Waiting to exhale” the main character sets her husbands things on fire the audience cheers. My point is this; violence against anyone is wrong, male or female. We tell our daughters that they are equal to men. That their sex does not exclude them from any profession. The fastest growing sector of the prison population is women. Young women drive as fast and reckless as young men. They use drugs, smoke cigarettes and commit violent crimes. We cannot continue to tell our daughters that they have the same rights as men but not the responsibility.

They are not responsible for making wrong choices in partners. If they become drug addicts, it’s the mans fault. Prostitution, the man's fault. Single parenthood, the man's fault. The fact that you laid with this man, had unprotected sex with him, get pregnant and bring a child into this world that you are unable to care for financially or emotionally, the mans fault.

Contrary to the modern myth, men do not "change". He was a butt head when you met him and he's still a butt head. You are responsible for the choices you make. Where you go, who you go with and what you do when you get there are your responsibility male of female. To pretend that folks don't antagonize others, berate and push people to fits of anger and then absolve yourself of your role in the melodrama we call life because you have ovaries is wrong.

Have any pictures of Chris Brown been released? How did he look after this altercation? Why do we use the term “domestic violence”. If this occurred between to straight men or women we would call it a fight! Sometime men and women have fights. It is stupid and dangerous and usually happens when one or both parties run out of intelligent things to say to each other.

I say all this to say let’s stop dealing in absolutes. Men always wrong, nothing a woman does ever rises to a violent response, tell that to victims of female soldiers or suicide bombers.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree with the commenter, a woman is not always right. Sometimes women provoke men to do the unthinkable when women commit such foolish acts(burning,cutting,or bleaching clothes and keying, burning,or crashing their cars or even hitting,stabbing, or shooting them) when they can't deal with the acts of life for example: if they're caught cheating, instead of women acting as though they love and respect themselves, they commit these asinine acts in the heat of anger. I feel like chris should not be crucified or demonized for what transpired because no one no exactly what happened and its never ok for a man or WOMAN to commit violence amongst each other! but women did fight to have the same equal rights as men and i think if she did start it she deserves the same treatment(punishment) that chris received or receives, next time they both will be a bit more conscientious about the decisions they make. Oh yeah and I'm a Black Woman!! and I've been there.

Mishy said...

I agree with both people. Both men and women do things to each other that mmakes them do things that arent so smart. Yes men and woman should be equal but if the shoe was on the oother fooot do you think the media would have made rihanna look as bad?? not at all this is the problem with society and how things work. its never ok to go out and get mad to the point where you must put your hand on the next person whether male or female point blank. men and woman are the same and the same things should apply. and i am a woman my self and honestly speaking we are not always in the right but since alot of woman are weak they like to point the finger at the opposite sex. the fact of the matter is that people make mistakes and things go wrong and emotions are hard to control for men and women and we just need to find ways to over come this and stop the finger pointing.


im happy that chris brown and rihanna have made the choice to get back together. it in my eyes was not that big of a deal. yes relationship have problems and thingss go wrong. however i do think chris brown was wrong for putting his hands on her. But at the end of the day it is ultimately their decision to decided what they want to do. and i cant see how america should have something to say about peoples relationship. they are 2 adults who have the right to make the choices that best suits them. and when situations this heavy come to light it is never okay to just jump to one side and point the finger at the next person. At the end of the day we will never know what went on that evening all we will know is that there was a problem that needed to be solved.regardless of what anyone thinks or feel i will always and forever support chris brown because even though he was wrong he was man enough to admit his wrong and move forward and despite the fact that the media and televison networks are trying to look down at him he remains humble and is working to better himself. i wish the best for the both of them and hope things work out. And for all those people who suddenly out the blue dont like chris brown and thinks of him as such a bad person you were never a fan to begin with. No one in this world is perfect and all celebrities whether big or small makes mistakes and if people can hold T.I down when hes at the bottom then the same things should apply to anyone else.

Anonymous said...

I AGREE WITH BOTH COMMENTS. THE TONE OF THE ARTICLE IS VERY ONE SIDED. I GREW UP IN A HOUSEHOLD WITH PARENTS THAT CONSTANTLY ARGUED. MY MOTHER ALWAYS HIT MY FATHER AND CONSTANTLY THREW THINGS AT HIM, BUT HE NEVER RAISED A HAND AT HER. HE ALWAYS WALKED AWAY. NO ONE HAS HEARD CHRIS' SIDE. IT WAS WRONG FOR HIM TO HIT HER. BUT WHAT IF SHE INITIALLY BEGAN TO PHYSICALLY ABUSE HIM. WOULD IT BE OKAY? WHAT DID SHE DO TO SET HIM OFF? IS IT OKAY FOR HER TO VERBALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABUSE HIM? I THINK THE BAD PRESS THAT HE IS RECEIVING IS JUST RIDICULOUS. SHOULD WE EXCUSE HER BEHAVIOR? SHE MAY NEED COUNSELING AS WELL. THIS COMMENT IS COMING FROM A BLACK FEMALE MOTHER WITH THREE BLACK BOYS OF HER OWN.

dabann said...

Well i can say one thing. for someone whos in love like that, they deserve anything that they get.Look at all Crhis Bbrown went through.radio stations stopped playing his music, and doublemint,dropped his commercial.that is not love, that is trying to control. she doesn't care if Chris loses everything,as long as he stays away from other women, she will be fine

Soledad Roriguez said...

I am scared for Rihanna, in most cases once a beater always a beater. It is also said that on average a abused woman will return to their man 7 times befor they leave them for good. Rihanna is to beautiful and deserves better then someone like Chris Brown beating on her.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the source. Me, personally... a very big Chris fan. Not a big Rihanna Fan, at all.But, I for one "DO NOT" agree with it being any excuse for him to have put his hands on her. That was ridiclous. The fact of the matter is..he does need help, and so does she. Like many other women in this world today, she has a very low self esteem.
Now you know Chris needs help,because he obviously was "flashing" when he was pounding on her like she was Defensive player for the Dallas Cowboys. He was NOT thinking about her, and surely not about his BIG career. The term "flashing", (in case you do not get the saying)...is when someone blacks out. And people try to say CHRIS BROWN should'nt have help??Come on!! Are ya'll serious??
Get outof the "Music World" for a minute, and realize their two human beings.Not a chocolate version of a Barbie, and Ken doll. Think of it as your sister, or mother with their face looking like that. Think of it as your brother with a illness people refuse to acknowledge..only to one day see him arrested, taking her life, then taking his own.
I look at the situtation wholeheartedly, because it happens everyday, and it NEVER ends with a happy ending.
I'm done fussing cause it wont matter anyway. Ya'll All will see how it will end, if these youngster do not get help.
Ya'll will see, because ya'll will follow up on Chris Brown and Rihanna..like they pay ya'll rent. When ya'll should wake up, and see your daughter or son could be going through the same thing.

Anonymous said...

I think all of you are clueless. You are all clueless to that fact that men commit most violent acts. Most violent crimes are committed by men so therefore men and women violence can not be looked at on equal planes. Yes women have hit men which is very wrong. However, men hit women 1000% more often then women hit men. Men are also a lot stronger than even the biggest female and can inflict harm that a women can not. I'm tempted to say men like the commenters on this board reflect how most men think (deflect attention from the real issue to focus on unimportant things like female violence) but I won't say this because educated men like the one who wrote this article know better. How many men have been killed at the hands of women? Maybe 500. How many women have been killed at the hands of men? Maybe 5,000. And people say women attacking men is the problem or deserves the same priority as men hitting women? Male identified thinking is dangerous.

Aisha Muhammad said...

Comment:
MY NIECE WAS KILLED NOVEMBER 2008
BY HER BOYFRIEND
FIRST HE ISOLATED HER FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS
THEN HE PUSHED HER OUT OF A MOVING CAR
THEN HE BURNED HER HOUSE DOWN AND SHE TOOK HIM
BACK. BUT IN NOVEMBER OF 2008 HE KILLED HER
ITS WAS A SERIES OF ARTICLES IN THE WASHINGTON POST
WHY ARE WOMEN SO DESPARATE?
I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND
AND I WISH YOU AS A SPEAKER AND JOURNALIST
WOULD DO AN INDEPTH STORY ON THE RAPID RATE
OF BEATINGS, ABUSE AND DEATH OF YOUNG WOMEN AT
THE HANDS OF BLACK MEN!
DURING LAST SUMMER I HAD TWO OF MY HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS
DAUGHTERS TO BE MURDERED BY THEIR BOYFRIENDS
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE YOUNG BLACK MEN!

Anonymous said...

In regards to Mishy... And anyone else that wants to ride with Chris Brown... Certainly we all make mistakes. It's part of our human nature. However, paying for your mistakes is NOT having any finger pointed at you! I am a man, and NO MAN has ANY right or cause to put his hands on a woman in anger; regardless of what she has done! Any man that beats a woman... Even ONCE... is not worthy of being a man. Granted, there are some tough women out there, but the fact is, MEN DON'T HIT WOMEN!!! Period. Fan or no fan, role models don't do what he's done. People need to quit defending him and others like him, because it looks like you condone such action. As for T.I., sellin' dope is a crime,yes... So is assault on a woman. Which is a bit worse than sellin dope. Get a life outside of defending woman beaters. Have some respect for yourself!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a male and I am sick and tired of people epecially black overlooking these kinds of things. I used to love Chris Brown and he is a great singer and dancer but what he did was wrong. Only if life or death situation should u have to do something like that. All these stupid gorrila pimps keep beating up there women make it hard for the good men to be trusted by them because of your mistakes na im not with that. A wise man would have just left. The fact of the matter is that I have sisters and a mother if anyone did that to them I would get them first ask questions later because thats what real men do. I am sick of hearing people stand up for Chris fuc him its not right and he needs to pay but believe me he can try to weasel his way out of this one but the streets will not show him mercy!! believe that in jail guys hurt men who do this and I just think what goes around comes right back around Chris!! Just like that story the boy who cried wolf thats what will happen to Rihanna but will she pull thru next time?? remember Chris punk ass brown left her for dead in that Lamborgini but I guess if the women are stupid enough to take them back then......

Laivinski said...

I'm so sick of people jumping on Chris before they know what really happened. Right is Right and Wrong is Wrong and for Chris to put his hands on her without her HITTING HIM FIRST is wrong. Now, if she hit him first, we have a new set of rules! I hope you good cyber people out there don't think it's ok and/or cute for a young lady to put her hands on a man. All things being equal in AMERICA, If you are big enough to hit you can get hit back. Whoever hit first is WRONG. I do not know the facts of the case and all the little details that led up to this point, but both of them need to get a little help and really see if this is what they want and work at it if so.

I'm not anonymous either!

Anonymous said...

There is a reason to hit anyone, I don't care if its a Pretty singer. Sometimes you have to hit people be it a man or a woman. Thats just my opinion tho. The point is have a reason I don't agree with just smacking people or biting them for no reason tho.

The future said...

The point to all this is nobody should put their hands on anybody unless they fully expect to suffer some type of consequence. But if you want to get scientific, men are stronger but women are tougher. Don't believe me? Put any man in a situation as painful as child birth and see how long he's conscience nuff said about that. But as for violence men go through just as much abuse as women, it's just a different type. Mental abuse is just as damaging and to some degree there's also a high number of physical abuse which leads to mental because there isn't anywhere for a man to turn when he has a women beating on him.
Imagine coming home to someone who is constantly degrading who and what you are and since you have a family you try to stay because you don't want to be labeled as another man who left. so you stay as your women constantly tries to embarrass you in front of friends and family even your job. Has men you've never met in your home when you get off work and gets mad at you when you bring it up. Oh yeah, and this is suppose to be your wife. My wife has hit me, cut me, and has had me committed when i tried to leave. We had an altercation where she thought some of my friends were coming over. She punched me in my face, pulled out a knife and destroyed my car. I admit to pushing her out of the way so I could put on some clothes. we also wrestled over the knife right before she went and got a shovel then fire place poker which she later used to destroy my car. Yet I was the only person that went to jail and now has a record. That isn't fair.
As for women though, if you all want to be treated fairly you have to first understand why you haven't. Once that is discovered then ask yourself "do you really want to be treated like a man?"

Anonymous said...

i think this is so complex for so many reasons. while we would like to compare chris and rhi-rhi to the rest of us the truth is that they arent. i believe there are a lot of facts to this story that will never come to light strictly because record labels have a lot to lose, marketing companies and their own careers are at stake. i think this is the perfect opportunity for parents to address this topic with their own children and stop looking for a 20yr old pop star to be a role model for every teen out there. thats so unfair. no one knows rhiannas background or her own issues she is dealing with. why judge?? just make the difference in your own life.

B.R. said...

I do not agree with Chris' actions, nor do I agree with Rihanna's. I think a man should never put his hands on a woman, and vice versa, as well. I can't stand when a woman tells her story about abuse and it turns out to be her who started the hitting. I'm not trying to justify the mans decision to put his hands on her to "defend" himself, but women, provoking violence usually only has one outcome: retaliation. As for her getting back with him... there's nothing anybody can do. She's the type where she needs to learn on her own, and if she gets hurt or killed in the process, god bless her, but oh well. Maybe that's what needed to happen for the both of them to earn their lesson, although if her death is the outcome neither one of them will get a second chance.

jakki said...

The California District Attorney's office can prosecute Chris Brown without Rihanna's cooperation. That's usually true in all domestic violence cases. In this case, they have a huge incentive to proceed because there are photographs showing serious injuries. I think that's what we're all waiting for... to see if the state is going to indict Brown.

Anonymous said...

They won't indict him because they do need Rihanna's permission. The domestic violence law applies to people who live together or are married. They are neither one. This is simple assault, as if he slapped a chick in the club.

C. said...

forgive me if I dont paint the picture exactly as I see it. For the longest time men have been persecuted and blamed for the results of domestic violence.. To put things plain and simple. I have a mother , aunt, sisters and cousins and they are females. but I would and have said to them, esp my younger sisters," If you jit someone expect to get hit back. " I was taught that by a woman. I was beat up as a child by a older female. Ive seen domestic violence from my parents, but thats no excuse as to why I may have hit a woman in the first place. Self defense is an issue and each case is unique. I bait females into the common thought these days that says youre not a man if you hit a woman, yet I see women get angry and hit their man, throw dishes at him, and call him out of his name. All of these things are forms of abuse. In my experience since I have heard all the stories as I grew into adulthood, have never been initiated by myself. Yes I have beat a female before, yes I have slapped one or two around, not only that I called the police my damn self and told them what I did and why I did it. I made sure they understaood everything from an unbiased view before my ex had the chance to call them and say, He hit me. She wouldnt tell'em that she blocked my exit, she was cheating and taking my money. she was pregnant and the child wasnt mine as I was proposing to her. She didnt tell them that she went to texas for a week and left me with the child that wasnt mine. she didnt say that she promised a paternity test and told me to come get her, and when I got there she had her new man there and she made it look as if I was harrasing her.. No, I called the police myself and told them. Why? because men esp black men have a target on our foreheads and Domestic Violence is the pas to the slammer or worse. So when do men ever get the justice they deserve and not the time they dont. When will that coounselor come to our schools and interview us as youth before we reach adulthood, if thats the case. Which most times it is not. My mission in llife was to be there for my family when I had one. So why did my ex want her womens rights and need to be treated equal and have a good enough man to provide all of those things for the sake if his family and breaking the chain of absentee fathers. If I wasnt well versed in the power of exploitation, I would be in jail right now, because she manipulated me and in the later days, she admitted to faking things to get me in trouble. She admitted to the fact that if she respected me more I wouldnt have been irritaated soo much during our relationship.. she admitted to me the lies she had been holding since we met. Is it my fault that I caught her in the bed with another man and my sons was in the next room, as I wailed and smacked her senselessly with no control. Was it my fault she tried to keep my sons from me when I was the one raising them since birth. Who was wrong.. situations like this I have winessed as I went to court and spoke to other men that went thru similar abusive situations as their exex claimed the kids like property knowing deep inside that it woould break the man. Sorry to say but its the thought that couonts and we cant prove females thik certain things because they wont tell you so. Until its too late. What is a man to do when the woman has crushed him, demoralized him, made him feel as if he is nothing and the weakest link, at the same time frustrated him and lied to him(white lies) then rubbed it in his face. should a man say ok and walk away as if he doesnt have emotions and feelings or be human, (which is a very unpredictable creature when faced with the loss of everything that means anything to him) or her.

Chris Brown and Rhianna havea relationship and its our duty as humans to stay out of it, because we have no idea what is going on between them. We dont know if she called his mother a bitch or not, stole a million dollars, or got caught having phone sex with t pain.. It could be Chris's fault, but I know one thing, if he man enough to recognize his own mistakes and correct them, he is way ahead of all the folks with opinions and convictions. in turns folks is talkin loud and sayin nothing. talk what you know.

Whitey McWhite said...

Forget this tripe. How about my boy Rush handing Michael "token" Steele his ass:

http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/02/rnc-chairman-apologizes-to-limbaugh-in-flap-over-his-role/

Anonymous said...

Boyce why you egging this shit on?

Anonymous said...

what i think is chris brown is a coward man for hitting rihanna i hope a family member of rihanna could hit the hell of chris brown like he did (well acording to the picture the officer took) chris brown is not a real man a real man does not hit a woman. i dont understand what lead him to hit her that way. Maaayyybbeee a slap in her face or pushed her but not beating her almost to death he should get punished for that not for being a rich guy celebrity, people should forget about it he did wrong and he should get a asss wooping. chris brown you are a coward...

Anonymous said...

chris brown i hope you pray to gaod so he could change you into a good person what you did is wrong get all the help you can get. I think you are a little boy you hav'nt grown into a man yet. how can you do that to a woman if i was a man i would beat the shit of your assssss. for real man how could you do that i hope one of riahnnas brothers kicks the hell of you asss. LITTLE BOY

Anonymous said...

listen i agree with anyone that knows it takes two..i feel the only way a man is wrong is when he is not provoked thats just evil since about 2000 women have been different.they want to be like men. and they are not..in my community witch is black these women are out of control.they have no fathers in the home so they dont even respect men .what happen to the chain of command the bible set out women should be in subjection to man. and man to god.because we forget these principals.this were the problem lies the women disrespects the man reacts to keep is man hood what do we have?when the same issue could have been address in a respectful way.and if the mate is not willing to work that way move on.im saying this from experience i v never hit a women and when i did it was so confusing .because if i didnt she would not have respect me at all. really speak to these young women see what they about.they know the power they possess and they use it..is it right?behind these pretty faces lie devils in disguise .so u have to have a through look on things.and any man that says he"ll never do it its because he knows what women to choose and he's never been through nothing.

Anonymous said...

I DONT CARE WHAT SHE DID TO HIM .. UNLESS HIS LIFE WAS UNDER ATTACK AND HAD TO DEFEND HIS SELF AS SUCH... HE SHOULDNT HAVE BEATEN HER TO THAT EXTEND BOTTOM LINE .... HE COULDVE GOTTEN OUT OF THE CAR N WALKED AWAY ... ENDED THE RELATIONSHIP... GRABBED RIHANNA WHO BY THO WAY PROBABLY WIEGHS 100 POUNDS UNTILL SHE CALMED DOWNN AND THEN LEFT .... THERE IS NO REASON Y HE SHOULDVE BIT, PUNCHED, AND STRANGLED HER ....
PEOPLE WANNA DEFEND chris and say females have to be RESPONSIBLE FOR THEMSELVES AND SHOULDNT BE PUT ON THAT HIGHER GROUND .... BUT WHAT IF THAT WAS UR MOTHER BEING BEATEN LIKE THAT ... THERE WOULD BE NO EXSCUSE THEN.....
NATURALLY WOMEN SHOULD ALL BE RESPECTED AND SUPPORTED BY MEN... JUST AS THEY DO IN RETURN... BUT NOBODY IS PERFECT THERE ARE BAD WOMEN AND THERE ARE GOOD WOMEN ....AND OF COURSE FEMALES SHOULDNT BE PUTTIN THERE HANDS ON A MALE ... BUT WEN U STAND AT 6 FOOT TALL WEIGHIN 170 N ABOVE AND U LOOK AT THE WOMEN YOU CLAIM TO LOVE AND BEAT ON HER 100 POUND FRAME AS IF SHE WAS A MAN....I JUST CANT SEE ANY JUSTIFICATION IN THAT AND NO MAN SHOULD....... HE SHOUDVE DEADED HER AND GOT WITH ANOTHER ONE OF THEM BAD MODLES THAT WAS TEXTING HIM IN THE CAR ..... N IF HE LOVED HER TOO MUCH TO NOT WANT TO LEAVE HER HE WOULDVE NEVER STRIKED AT HER THE WAY HE DID .... HE WAS SEEN IN THE COPS CAR AND HE DIDNT HAVE ONE SCRATCH ON HIM THAT NIGHT BUT SOME BRUISED UP KNUCLES ... COWARD!!!!!!....
AND THIS IS COMING FROM A MAN FROM THE STREETS , THE HOOD, THE GHETTO ... WE DONT CONDONE THAT ... HE SHOULDVE USED THOSE BOXIN SKILLS ON BOW WOW WHEN HE SPIT ON HIM AT THE SHOW.... IN STEAD OF WALKIN AWAY FROM THE SITUATION AND AVOIDING IT !!!!!

Anonymous said...

chris brown assaulted rhianna because rhianna and rapper west dogg was having an affair while rhianna was still with chris brown

Anonymous said...

Stop excusing Chrises bullshit! This is fucked up and he has no reason to be hitting on any girl.

Chris IS Guilty!!! said...

i nu dat nigga was guilty!!! wat a punk-azz BEYOTCH!!

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=355540&GT1=28102

Anonymous said...

wat i cant stand about yall iz dat yall all in his business he must had a reason tew hit ha UGLY azz and he aint guilty so get a life n stay out of his........frm da one n only Mz.Ju-c aka NEICEY BOO bka ~~~~~NO BOUND~~~~~

PS N YEW ABOVE ME FUCK OFF

Anonymous said...

My response to the above stank legg hood rat:

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┗┫━━ ┃ ━━┣┛  ┣┫ 
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*(YESSENIA)* said...

hey i think chris brown should pay for what he did i am not against chris but the violence is not cool i know a lot of people that have been hurt by there boyfriend and is not cool how there faces look like on of my friend got a surgery on her face because her boyfriend hurt her so bad that she didnt like her face and she was do pretty but she does not look the same no more

Brian said...

Dr. Boyce, and what of you to say on the innocent men who have half their life in fortune taken away from them over a woman's change of heart???

A woman is not any more sensible than a man just because the law creates the illusion. Rhianna is naive, which is why she got beat. It takes a certain kind of woman to inspire a man to inflict harm and she clearly didn't know how to handle the situation like Kobe Bryant's wife did.

She could have got paid, instead she got beat and ruined it for the both of those two.

Chris hasn't done anything that hasn't been done ten trillion times before him, there's a reason some female's get there ass kicked and believe it or not, it's not just the guys fault.

You are also incorrect to think a woman can revoke charge's. Once a man commits an act of violence against a woman, it is no longer the choice of the victim in whether or not he face's charge's. He is now the problem of the county and county's District Attorney, and believe me, he *will* face charge's.

After the OJ incident, there's no way on earth any black man can get away with wrong doing against a woman.

Anonymous said...

fuck all yall muther fucker she gave him crabs and when she told him she was laugh that bitch got wat she deserved

chand247 said...

I would just like to say that I hope my comment gets to Chris and Rihanna. Had you been in the state of Florida both of you would be charged. No longer do that blame one without the other. Neither one of you need to be fighting each other or anyone else. and in some states even if you drop the charges the state can pick them back up. My son is in training school right now and he has never been violent to anyone before and no past criminal history. He only has to do six months but he reqested to do 10 because he wants to make sure that when he gets out he has his stuff together and in order. He is learning from his mistake. I pray that the two of you learn from yours and don't have to go to jail to learn it. Training school teaches youth to become productive citizens in their community however jail is no place for children I don't believe it teaches them anything. Good luck to you all. I hope you can look back on this and learn and teach others that fighting anyone for any reason is wrong.

Anonymous said...

FIRST OF ALL I THINK THAT EVERYONE NEEDS TO GET OFF CHRIS BROWNS BACK. NO ONE KNOW'S WHAT RHI-RHI DID TO HIM SO WHY DO ALL THESE THINGS TO CHRIS BROWN. NO ONE TOOK THE TIME TO HEAR HIS SIDE OF THE STORY AND NO ONE CARES TO KNOW. I DONT THINK THAT CHRIS BROWN WILL JUST COME OUT AND HIT HER FOR NO REASON AT ALL. SHE HAD TO HAD DID SOMETHING TO HIM FOR HIM TO REACT THAT WAY. OKAY I AGREE WITH EVERYONE ON THIS ONE HE SHOULD OF NEVER PUT HIS HANDS ON HER BUT LIKE THE PREVIOUS PERSON SAID WHO EVER HITS NEEDS TO GET HIT. I'M A WOMEN MYSELF AND I FEEL LIKE IF SHE WAS IN THE WRONG THEN SHE NEEDS TO GET BLAME FOR WHAT SHE DID. NOT BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMEN THEY SHOULD LOOK PAST IT. I LOVE CHRIS BROWN AND I HOPE YALL GET OFF OF HIS BACK. LOVE DEARLY LIL BIT

Anonymous said...

Firstly, domestic violence is wrong!

Secondly, any legislation initiated that addresses domestic violence MUST be gender-free.
1. There are men who hit
2. There are women who hit

The victims of these individuals need to have protections against their assailants, regardless of their gender. Yes, I know every xx seconds a woman gets hit. Those are the stats because they are reported; however, the stats of men getting hit is under-reported because society doesn't accept the fact that this happens and when it does ... well, he less of man! What kind of thinking is that???
Protect the VICTIM... be it a male/female. Both require the adequate legal enforcement for protection; therefore any legislation MUST be gender-free.... Unfortunately, groups like the NOW have lock on this via the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). If it's really going to be anti-domestic violence legislation with some teeth, it MUST be gender-free with the intent on protecting the victim regardless of gender.

melvaldez said...

What a wonderful world it would be if people just respected each other and kept their hands to themselves. PERIOD! This is sad and it doesnt matter who started it, the fact is that they are both wrong. If she started it, she's wrong and he's wrong for responding in the manner that he did and if he's wrong, she's wrong for sticking around that mess. Both being in the public light that they are in should also understand the responsibility that it comes with when you have young people looking up to you, like they do. As a mother of two young girls, I will make sure my daughters understand what happened here and will teach them that they really to learn self-respect and to love themselves enough to see the signs before it ever gets to that point.

Anonymous said...

I am so relieved to see that I am not the only person intelligent enough to read between the lines. Chris AND, I say AND Rihanna acted a damn fool that night. She got in his ass that night about the other woman, he tried to put her out the car, if she had gotten out and called herself a cab, case closed. But no she wanted to stay in the car and in his ass about the other woman. What transpired before, during and after the ass beating only the two of them will ever know. What I know for sure FROM READING BETWEEN THE LINES is that Rihanna was damn sure not acting like a damsel in distress or like an abused woman. Not only did she refuse to get out of the car, she played phone games, she didn't make a call to her manager threatening to have the police there for her safety, she did it to further antagonize the "boy", when he threw her phone out of the window, she grabbed his phone and tried to use it, (scared?, nah), when she "turned" her face to him, he punched her in the eye? How the hell are you going to kick my ass and drive at the same time? Oh, then she snatches the keys out of the ignition and sits on them? Does this sound like a scared woman or a pissed off woman, who is giving as much as she is giving? Chris should never EVER hit anyone, and neither should Rihanna. THEY had a fight and just maybe it was an isolated incident and they will both learn from it. Chris is not a monster, he is a child and needs to deal with his inner issues, but we never saw him after the incident and he was man enough not to try and justify his behavior and give his side. Leave him alone and please stop acting like Rihanna is an innocent victim. Abused women don't kick, sit on keys, grab phones, and refuse an opportunity to get away. I been where Rihanna is and I used to beat the hell out of my boyfriend when he pissed me off, UNTIL he bust me ONE TIME in my eye, that was our last fight. I played the victim and both families wanted to hang him, but I went upside his head first. Immature! Step off Chris people he did a bad thing, give him a chance to redeem himself. Dr. labeled the boy "a young man life this" like what, someone who made a mistake?!

Anonymous said...

Boyce this is an example of why you can't achieve tenure? You keep appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Earl said...

By many of the comments on this blog, it's obvious that some of us do not understand the law!

How about we all read up on what the laws are in California, and try to understand domestic violence before we take sides or give advice.

http://law.justia.com/california/codes/pen/240-248.html

http://www.calbar.ca.gov/state/calbar/calbar_generic.jsp?cid=10581&id=2181

http://www.ndvh.org/

*angel* said...

heyy. look im a chic and i play in a mans world so yea. i understand both points but hell i think the bitch deserved it. idk y da hell yall tryin to blame his ass when she did jus as much if not more than him. fuck all yall that call him a bitch and everything else. she dont care bout him and we all knw it. none of us no wat happened so why dont everybody shut da hell up and stay in dey own damn business!!! and if u dont like dat u can kiss my ass and his!! i bet yall woulda done the same thang! and if she wanna step on a mans level and play with his life then he can sure as hell play with hers!!!!! so na Boetch!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Syracuse doesn't deserve a top scholar like you, they are a racist, second rate institution.

Anonymous said...

i think that ppl put so much pressure for men to be right. i think chris brown is a good man. and to be honest rihanna is not that innocent. ik a lil bout wat she be doin. i dont think she ever expected to be hit but i think she knew wat he was capable of. they goin to charge him wit all this non sense but no one knows wat rihanna did to him. we dont know wat kinda bruses he got, how his face be lookin me personally will never let a man hit me but i will nver lay my hand on a man either. everyone is taught, if yu are hit hit back. my man chris brown aint jesus. he gonna make mistaks rihanna back wit him cause she know she was rong for blowin this whole shit out of proportion. they had one fight that went to far. but wat about all the women around the world who are truly in abusive relationship and are goin to end up dead. worryin but their relationship because they are famous. these pictures out can be fake. wat yu think photobucket is for? domestic violence my ass. they got in a fight. lik all couples do. she probably hit him first. she probably did do something to piss him off n he was just tired. he not goin to end up killin her.he not lik that. he youg n made a mistake. this chris brown rihanna shit obsolutely one sided. tryin to send him to jail. they gona make him a women. SMFH stop justifyin women n makin it seem lik they shit alwys rite. n women wonder y they men be leavin them ugh

Anonymous said...

well to everything thats going on i believe everyone just needs to leave them alone.and mind their bizznesssss forreal . like aT THE END LOVE is very strong u cant tell nobody not to be with noone . because u want to knoe what . they will want to be there more and at the end let her learn on her own if she is making a mistake people mke mistakes and yes he made a big one but if she wants to be with him let her get it on her own support her and stop just trying to buttt all in her shit if your not her family .like let it be its not ur concern . dawmmmm ...

Anonymous said...

As I read these comments I am saddened by the fact that many in the black community have gotten away from their spirtual roots. That is ok for two people to be in a sexual relationship and unmarried. That people are shocked by the consequences of sin. It saddens me greatly. That marriage is taken so lightly and not even considered anymore. That people are shocked that unmarried sin leads to veneral disease. We need to get back to our spirtual roots here. The black family and community are suffering greatly. This is just another example of that.

Anonymous said...

Having been a counselor at a battered women's shelter I know the majority of women go back to their abuser because they "love" them. "Love" doesn't hurt or hit you, if he hit her once we WILL hit her again. If Rihanna thinks he is going to change then she's wrong and needs to always be on her guard. It doesn't matter who started the fight or why, the bottom line is both let their anger get out of control and resorted to physical violence. There are no winners here and because they are both celebrities we know about it. As a counselor, I made too many calls in the middle of the night to arrange for a taxi to pick up women and their kids, with just the belongings they could carry, to get away from an abuser.
I will never forget sitting in a hospital emergency room with a woman because her fever spiked from a concussion- she had been beaten with a crow bar, and yes... she went back to him.

Anonymous said...

Ok Maybe its me or may i dont get the whole situation between these two but from my point of view even though Chris brown was in the wrong for hitting rihanna you have to look at a situation from a different point of view im not trying to sound like im sticking up for chris brown or anything but in my class in college we discuss that domestic violence is both ways not just one sided(men mostly) from the class discussion that we had women can also be the cause of domestic violence and men in self defense but men get blamed for it because they dont say anything about the situation because they want to feel like a chump or wimp or anything like that around their boys or anything but either way it goes its wrong but from the picture of rihanna something aint right i feel like it was edited alittle bit or photoshopped i mean come on the picture is blurry for god sakes and this is the only incident we know about between them two i really dislike the fact that they were trying to place the other mutiple accidents on him i just dont believe that to be true

Anonymous said...

bathsheba rebekia dixon ellicoot city maryland well dont know what to say i hope she opens her eyes before it to late my exs beat on me i left him alone i learned from getting knocked the hell around

Anonymous said...

I agree that women shouldn't get a free pass on responsability.....but Chrsit Brown is still a pussy for hitting a girl !

Robert. said...

I can't believe some of these comments! Did you see her face, are you serious?!?! There is NOTHING Rihanna could've said or done to beaten like that!You mean to tell me that some of you don't believe that all he had to do is walk away that night?!! I mean hell, he "ran" away after he beat her! Have we lost the Love for ourselves as black people, or have we ever had it? This is a black woman he beatdown like that,just like that was a black baby R.Kelly urinated on.I love my black race with my soul,but like my grandmother tauhgt me "when you're, you're wrong!" Chris Brown is a confused young man that needs help ASAP and we as black people need to hold each other accountible for our actions.So he doesn't get a pass, we don't need a new song and we surely shouldn't support their reunion! At this point Chris needs to find out who he is and Rihana also needs to find the Love for herself. Because if you love yourself you won't harm someone who you say you Love and if you truly Love who you are you are not going to stay in any relationship with anyone who is going to harm you!God made us to be GREAT...this not acceptable,Look at her picture again and tell me i'm wrong. Love yourself.

rihanna said...

Wow some of these comments are insane. It is one thing to use self defense to stop being abused, if she was beating Chris to the point where he HAD to defend himself that is one thing. Now no one knows the situation but we do know what Rihanna's face looked like, now either Chris repeatedly hit her or hits like Mike Tyson and this is not right at all. It is so sad today to see all the women who still stick up for Chris and support him, the guy has not grown up over the years and keeps showing his violent side whenever he feels like throwing a temper tantrum.

Anonymous said...

SADLY WHEN ANY WOMAN OR MAN LOOKS IN THE MIRROR AND FIND HONESTY many can attest to being left felling powerless. What some do not overstand is the fact that much more is involved in theis relationship other than battery (IF it happened)
Number one The feelings of loss
2 fear of success vs not as much success
3.Ownership
4 control
5 Self worth
6 Desire (sexual)
7 Fear of loss
Wrapped in all of those issues is a bottom line How Chris makes Rihanna feel and viceversa. YES! it is always the perogative of people to judge and look from the outsiude in. Moreover perhaps it is also a good thing to roll back our own layers of poor choices and look at the men and women in the mirror WHY? becuase looking at others via rose colored lenses makes us all feel better and more acceptable.
For i Milagros i have known my share of mis..self management those feelings of not ebing worthy, wondering if i would be successful and then doing some inane and foolish things to achieve that desire?
Suffice that, maturation solved many of my silly insecurities and today i choose to spend my time opening the eyes of my grandchildren friends and others who may be looking ar Rihanna and Chris as lepers. Last how can anyone sit here and judge who deserves what, who is angry and who should leave or atay? Perhaps its time to " Stop trying to force our will on others we may not agree with and instead..

Perhaps examples would be more worthy?

Anonymous said...

sorry for the typos i forgot to preview