I just returned from a trip to DC, Philly and Florida. I had a great time with my buddy, Mark Thompson, the host of "Make it Plain" on Sirius Satellite. Mark invited me to co-host his show the other day, which was amazing. I also had the chance to do some work with the Al Jazeera Network and NPR as well as give about 5 speeches along the way. I am tired as "hayell", but happy heck. I also want to give a big shout out to Chiderah Aalisa, one of our amazing writers at YourBlackWorld who was just named "Ms. Black and Gold" here at Syracuse.
During the trip, I spoke with some young students at Howard University. I loved the students, and I felt at home with them. I wish I had more Black students here at Syracuse, but unfortunately, there is work to do in terms of creating diversity within the Business school. My current students are great, but I am not sure they always "get me" as a Black man. But then again, I am not all that easy to get.
One of the students at Howard asked where I came up with the idea to write my book "Financial Lovemaking 101: Merging assets with your partner in ways that feel good". I was taken aback, since it's always intriguing to me when young students ask questions about topics like love and relationships. But I answer all questions truthfully and directly, out of respect for the person asking. Also, like any other adult, I've always got a gumbo of emotions that pop up when I think about my own experiences in the journey of love and life.
One of the things I told the student is that who you choose to spend your life with is going to be one of the single most significant choices you make in this lifetime. I encouraged them to realize that even when you have it together and are doing the right things, you must steer clear of people of the opposite sex who are not making equally productive choices. I think about this when I see men choosing women because of their looks or the shapes of their body parts, or women who are attracted to bad boys with bad credit. I've seen good women I know taken in by the smooth words of falsely Christian men who lie for a living and men taken in by women who don't have their best interests at heart. It has happened to my close friends, it has happened to me. We can end up paying the price for our poor choices with the pain in our heart, the money in our bank account and sometimes, we pay with our life.
When I saw what happened to Jennifer Hudson's family, my heart sank. I thought about how this woman on top of the world does not have the fairytale life we thought she had. I wondered if there were signs that this tragedy might occur, based on prior behavior of the primary suspect, her sister's ex-husband. Her tragedy reminded me of tragedies I've seen up close, where good love goes real bad.
I am not a relationship therapist, nor am I wagging my finger at anybody. My only thought today (at 2 am on a Saturday night) is about those young students at Howard. I wanted them to realize that who you choose to spend your life with is going to matter more than how many degrees you earn, how much money you make or what profession you choose. A bad relationship might seem fun at first, but it eventually eats at your soul and destroys your most valuable asset, your happiness.
Life is a journey of love, and we must carefully watch the road at every little turn. Our well-being is the vehicle that can be steered in the wrong direction, and we should not allow just anyone to take the wheel.
Good luck to Jennifer Hudson and her family.
7 comments:
You're absolutely right. Ms. Hudson's latest trafedy is a sobering reminder to all those who choose, quite foolishly, to flirt with disaster -- in choosing a life-partner. If bad marital choices were HIV, the world would be, at the very least, half-empty. Ms. Hudson, of course, never invited this horror upon herself, but associating with someone, even family members, who make decisions that pose a vicious threat to one's security, is synonymous to putting one's finger between the jaws of a lion. Sooner or later, reality will set in!
But how do you know that was even what lead to her death?
History dictates that.
It might be history, but they didn't even say the guy that was in the slammer now did it. Why jump to judgement?
"It might be history, but they didn't even say the guy that was in the slammer now did it. Why jump to judgment?"
This is the Boyce blog. Thats what he do best. Talk smack and rush to judgment without knowing all the facts. A modern day muckraker.
"This is the Boyce blog. Thats what he do best. Talk smack and rush to judgment without knowing all the facts. A modern day muckraker."
Did you mean to use the word "do" in "what he do best"? I find your writing sub-par, and in need of elementary work to say the least. And who is "He"?
Please at least try to do better. There is a very negative stereotype out there which portray many Americans of African decent as unlearned, unwashed, and actually expecting the easy way out/up. The simplest way to counter this false perception is to speak, write, and present ourselves in a confident, educated and enlightened state of mind. This is not to say we should act as though we are better than our white, yellow or red brothers and sisters, but never forget that we are certainly their equals!
We have had black woman doctors and lawyers in this amazing country since the 1800's. The year is 2008. The blame game is over.
Simply put. If you are not willing to try harder, stop complaining.
Slag
my uneducated response to the above poster...
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