St. Francis University: One of the great schools of Chicago

I had the chance to address the students at St. Francis University yesterday. I didn't know much about the school, honestly, until my assistant told me about them. I was worried about speaking at a faith-based school, since I am pretty good at saying things that piss people off. But I feel that I was relatively well-behaved. The only exception might have been when I told the young guys in the pre-speech meeting that I lost my virginity at 17 years old. I was making a point, but I also mentioned that my virginity was something I'd been working hard to shake since I was 10. I believe in giving students real talk and not fairy tales, I think they appreciate that.

The school was awesome and I felt a level of warmth from the student body that I appreciated. The auditorium had quite a few students, and I got a sense that even though many of them were not black, they really wanted to do the right thing when it comes to race. I can respect that alot.

I head out of town today to get back to Kentucky for a while. I am trying to get my daughter ready for college. It can be tough to relate to a child that was not raised in your home, since the value system is not going to be what you would have wanted it to be. When I got with her mother at the age of 17, I could not see past the fact that she was cute and sexy. It turns out that, years later, there are cultural and educational divides that have to be bridged, and it can be tough. Right now, my goal is to persuade my daughter to consider colleges outside the state of Kentucky, since many kids are just afraid to leave their hood. I am glad I wasn't afraid to leave Louisville, since I would still be there today, and would have had a pretty boring, typical life. But I am not into telling any young person what to do, I only offer my experience if they want to use it. That includes my own family members.

I also have alot of God kids that I spend time with as well. If a child appreciates my presence in their life, I am always willing to help as much as I can. One of my God kids, Monique, is heading to Columbia on a track scholarship. She is the top high jumper in the United States and I am very proud of her. She is also an excellent student. One of my other God kids, Carmen, plays basketball for the #1 team in Kentucky, Iroquois High School. My heart is Thaiiesha, who is one of the sweetest human beings to ever walk the face of this planet. She wants to go to Harvard to become a biomedical engineer. I have other God children, but I won't bore you with my gloating.

I think that I love my God kids so much because I never had the chance to raise a child of my own. My daughter's influences were from other people, and although I wanted to be with her mother, the truth was that I was too much of a boring wet blanket for her to want to hang out with me. I don't blame her, I was pretty square when I went off to college. But family is blood, so you have to make sure you are there for your kids. Even when my daughter thought I was a boring man who "thinks he's white", I still let her know that I was there for her if she needed me. It's not easy to do that when you are cut out of someone's life. People are hard on black fathers for not always being there.
But sometimes, the father wants to be there and the door is not always open.

OK, that's enough for my Friday morning confession. It's 5:00 am, so maybe I'm feeling too reflective to be blogging my every thought. But then again, I like being honest, it's therapeutic.