Monday, July 14, 2008

Here's What's Wrong with You Black People



Since everyone appears to be on the "black people have no personal responsibility" band wagon, I thought I would buy a ticket. I read some of the transcript from Senator Barack Obama's NAACP speech Monday, so I thought I would pick up the spoon and get myself a big fat dose of personal responsibility. After all, perhaps we should consider ourselves fortunate: We are the only group that presidential candidates visit and tell us all the things that are wrong with us. I should have figured it out long ago: everyone else is perfect, and we are just ficked up.

In fact, our fortune runs even deeper than we can imagine, since our presidential candidates have taken notes from the great Ronald Reagan and given us the privilege of looking past everyone else's flaws. We don't have to listen to our president lecturing white Americans on their 50% divorce and child abandonment rate: all that matters are the black men who don't get married. We don't have to listen to our presidential candidates talk about the hundreds of thousands of alcoholics, drug addicts and rapists being produced on college campuses every year: all that matters is that black men are the ones being sent to prison for drug possession. Finally, we don't have to listen to our president talk about how many conservative family politicians have been caught sleeping with every woman (or man, or little boy) on the block: all that matters is that black men need to keep their "thing" in their pants and black women need to stop opening their legs to every man who brings them a bag of Cheetos.

Nope: the personal responsibility speeches are all saved for us. I guess that's the benefit of being so pathetic. It's not like we don't need it. I saw several black boys on TV the other day getting arrested for stealing. I hate it when all those black boys steal. I mean, 100% of the black boys I saw on TV last week were stealing, which MUST mean that 100% of all black boys steal. The white kids I saw on the news were going to college. Why don't black men ever study like those kids? If it were not for the media, I wouldn't have a chance to see just how pathetic we all are. It's a national epidemic I tell you!

I really could use a speech on personal responsibility. Had it not been for my ability to manipulate the welfare system and get an extra check every month, I would never have been able to manipulate my way to a PhD. I am not sure how my trifling mama got a child into Cornell University, another in the Mayo Clinic and a third on the faculty at Syracuse University. If only that pathetic single black mother could have been more responsible. Perhaps then her children could have gone to Harvard like Senator Obama.

So, you black people, please listen: You need to simply accept the fact that you are screwed up and have no morals. Forget what everyone else is doing, your kids are lazy and worthless, and you've never learned the value of hard work in your lives. No, no, no. Stop mentioning all the corporate welfare that our government gives out every year to lobbyists, or the fact that millions of Americans (of all races) were begging for government welfare to save themselves from their mortgage crisis. That might be true, but this is about you: everyone else's government support is not the issue, it's not like you people pay taxes or anything. We would rather talk about the person I saw on The O'Reilly Factor last week who said that they get welfare so they can buy extra crack. See, like I said, black people have no morals.

The focus of this discussion is that if you you were not so weak and worthless, you would not have depression-era unemployment in your communities, we wouldn't have to pass you over for jobs and your black men would not be getting longer sentences for the same crimes. You think that America is being racist against you. Get a life. That racism excuse is old and tired. Everyone knows that racism doesn't exist. We support Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity because they are truly great Americans, unlike that afro-wearing loud mouth Jesse Jackson. It's not as if he's ever done anything important.

So, here's what I am trying to say to you people: Get off welfare and learn how to work. Stop whining about companies that haven't hired a black manager in 100 years. If you guys could actually do the job, then maybe they would give it to you. There is no reason to learn to love yourself, because who you are right now is pathetic. In fact, you don't even love your children, since you abandon them on street corners. If only you black people could learn to be as perfect as the rest of America, you might just be OK. Thanks Senator Obama, I needed to learn my place.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Obama has crossed the line one too many times...

Najmah said...

People who love you enough to tell you the truth will always be hated. But remember, just because the rest of the crowd is doing it, doesn't make it right.

Anonymous said...

It is what it is. BLACK HATRED catch the fever America!!

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to draw your attention to a website-- www.obamatracker.com
This site posts dozens of stories regarding Barack Obama daily, from all different news organizations. We currently have over 3,000 stories, and we're only adding more as they come! It's a great resource for finding out anything about Obama.

Anonymous said...

I feel ya. I'm getting tired of him already. Is that all he has to talk about with us? Damn that's bad.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Boyce, take your head out of the sand, You just don't get it. I am sick of the victimization rheteric. We are brillant people we need to wake the hell up. We still act like slaves. I have "2" teachers in my family you should hear the stories of how the parents and the children are. I have nieces and nephews that are damaged goods. The only way out of these hell holes "is" education, economics and community activism. If the Church was doing it's job we would be in a better exsistance. Begging from the government is not the way. If we took 1 dollar from every black person in America we could education just about all the black men in prison. The family is so fractured, how in the heck can you have a family unit when you have one mother with 4 to 5 "different" fathers. Or husbands and some wives steps out of their marriages and have sometimes several children by significant others. The Family and the church is the "most" important to our exsistance. Yes it happens in other races but the percentage in our race is "very high" we are breeding like slaves. Aids is high because sometimes you have zip it up or keep your legs close. If it wasn't for the HBCU's who knows where we would be. They have produces some of the most brillant black minds in this country and if not the world. Obama is not saying anything that we don't say in churches, barber shops, beauty shops and on the street corners. I love my people but it's not whitey telling us to moleste a 6 years old cousin or jack grandma because we "think" she got some money.
I am no Bougeous, I am just a plain old black woman who wants the world to know our beauty.

Anonymous said...

Big Earl what makes you think I am all about whitey. You don't even know me. We have problems in our neighhoods and everyone wants to act like they don't exist. Our fore-fathers and mothers did not put up with all that "hell" to see 50% drop out rate. I have a Black Bookstore for our children, which is very rare. Do you think that a parent would come in to buy their child a book. No, they would whether go to Walmart or Barnes & Noble. I am sick of hearing a about whitey his dam days are numbered for ruling the world cultural anyways. There are some of us who are real concern about our community and want to help. Besides I live in a predominately black neighborhood and whitey would show nough would have a problem being my neighbor. I can take constructive criticism from my people it can only make me better.

RhondaCoca said...

HaHa!

Anonymous said...

Ok did everyone read the 27 paragraph speech Obama gave or just 2 paragraphs?

Anonymous said...

"I am sick of the victimization..."

I stopped reading right there.