Black People Catering to Lies and Ignorance: Nothing Ever Changes

I did a recent reflection on the life of boxer Joe Louis. One thing I didn't mention was a part in the documentary mentioning journalists who argued that Joe Louis should not be allowed to fight for the heavy weight title because it would lead to chaos. When the previous black champion, Jack Johnson, fought for the title and won, there were riots around the country. Whites could not stand the idea of a black man being champion, so they took out their anger with lynchings, and other forms of violence across America.

When I saw the journalists' arguments that "this black man should not engage in free will because white people might get mad", I thought about the election of Senator Obama. I continuously get one email after another, from well-meaning people who want to see the Senator get elected. In the emails, they say something to the effect of "Please don't talk about racism, even if it's true. White people might get mad and Senator Obama will not get elected."

In other words, not much has changed. We are still forced to run from the truth and hug a lie, all so white people don't get mad at us. I'm honestly tired of that crap.

Here is a response I sent to a reader who asked me to hold back my words on Senator Obama during an upcoming BET special so that I don't jeopardize Obama's chances of getting elected.

I hear what you are saying about "keeping quiet till the election". But I was not raised to cower in fear over what White America thinks of our words. I am also not a fan of encouraging leaders to point out flaws in African Americans, while simultaneously ignoring the flaws in other ethnic groups. This is a 400 year tradition, and it's time for this to stop.

So, I'm sorry brother. I plan to hold Barack accountable. That doesn't mean I don't support him. But just like in an abusive marriage, if you don't ask for respect, you won't get it. Black people must support Obama from a position of respect, or we will get another politician with a black face and not much else.

On the parenting issue, I know quite a few kids who aren't black who don't have fathers in their homes (50% of white Americans have absentee fathers). So, this notion that African Americans behave as animals who care less about our children than other ethnic groups has got to stop. We must think highly of ourselves and encourage brothers to try harder, while simultaneously having the courage to challenge the systems that make it difficult for a man in the inner city to provide for his family. We must not be victims of the system and silently take this abuse.

Obama was wrong to attack black fathers on father's day. I would never attack mothers on mother's day, no matter how many bad mothers I've seen. That would be wrong, but for some reason, we feel it is ok to do that to black men. This is not uncommon, since it is not a coincidence that black men are most likely to fill the prisons and black boys are 5 times more likely to be placed in special education (I was one of them). Even successful black men look down on other black men, which I find regrettable. As a successful black man, I encourage brothers to keep trying, and when I point out bad daddies, I don't just point my finger at the black man.

Remember: "tough love" should also involve the word "love". I saw no love in spending all of Father's Day embracing conservative stereotypes and acting as though black men are the only bad dads in America. To hell with that: I didn't hear ONE SINGLE SPEECH GIVEN IN ANOTHER VENUE where Obama took the same tone with any other group. There was a REASON that Bill O'Reilly applauded Obama's comments. O'Reilly, the man who was recorded in the middle of a sexual harrassment lawsuit, feels that he and other white males are morally superior to black men, and such comments by Obama only affirm that stereotype. I won't stand for that kind of behavior, not on my watch. Black people should not accept these double standards either and stop allowing ourselves to be demeaned in ways that are not acceptable for other groups. If I yell at your child and tell him "Your feet really stink and so does your breath. In fact, kids in your family tend to have the smelliest feet in the world.", that is not a positive comment, especially if my breath stinks as bad as his does. The truthfulness of my words becomes secondary to the fact that I have only berated him and excluded him, as if my own feet don't stink. Of course, he may go home and wash his feet and brush his teeth, but the truth is that I don't like the kid and I want to make him feel inferior. Making such a comment, without balance of judgement and positive reinforcement, is not going to lead to a productive interaction, especially if I then try to argue that the scent of my own breath is off the table for discussion.

Black men must move forward with positivity. Negativity won't work and I consider it unacceptable. I respect black men as much as I respect black women. We must respect one another if we are going to strengthen our community.

Again, I support Obama, but I am not an "anything goes" kind of brother. People who fall for the "anything goes" mentality usually get ignored and left behind. I am not interested in being a victim, and I will challenge the systems of this country until the day I die.

Stop hating yourself. Love yourself, improve yourself, and fight diligently against anyone who chooses to berate your people under the guise of "tough love". If they are doing it to black men in the inner city, guess what? They are sitting in the back rooms of your corporate executive suite saying the same stuff about YOU. Don't get it twisted, we are in this boat together.