Barack Obama Advice: Just Denounce All of Black America- That Might Work

by Dr. Boyce Watkins

www.BoyceWatkins.com

Barack Obama is a nice guy, and I really want to see him have the chance to become president. After all, it appears that we’ve decided that having the first African American integrated into the highest office in the land is more significant than anything we must sacrifice in order to make that happen. It’s up to us (as a good friend of mine explained to me) to prove that we can “make it in the big leagues” (since it’s clear from History Class that we haven’t accomplished much of anything to this point). So, we must be willing to do whatever it takes to get elected, no matter how degrading. We should denounce any leader, group or institution in the African American community that does not meet the approval of the broader white American majority. After all, if it weren’t for our willingness to play in the “big leagues”, we would still have to deal with that trifling, pesky Negro League that was fortunately destroyed when we were integrated into Major League Baseball. Also, were it not for complete integration and assimilation, we wouldn’t have access to the excellent inner city school systems across America.

For just a minute, I am going to ignore reports of US racism, such as the recent report by Human Rights Watch showing clearly that the United States is a country mentally ill with racial discrimination. I am going to be a team player from this point on. We don’t want to give the Republicans (and Democrats) anymore ammunition by forcing Senator Obama into the embarrassing position of having to denounce yet another black person or group who doesn’t meet the approval of the rest of America.



So, I put together a list of suggested denunciations that can keep Senator Obama out of trouble in this campaign. He’s already denounced several black religious leaders and abandoned his church of the last 20 years, so he might as well get rid of anything else that might keep him from having a chance to receive complete validation from America. Black children should learn a lesson from all this: give up whatever you must in order to become successful. You are not quite good enough by being who you are, so disowning all threatening aspects of your culture is a necessity for “mainstream” acceptance.

Suggested denunciations for Senator Barack Obama:

1) Medgar Evers – Evers was defended by Father Michael Pfleger, and we all know that Father Michael Pfleger can’t be trusted. Spending your entire life helping black youth in the South Side of Chicago gives you no right to speak about the black experience or racial injustice. God forbid Father Pfleger try to speak the truth in the house of God, that seems to be the last place the truth belongs.


2) Martin Luther King – We have to get rid of Dr. King too, just to be safe. This trouble maker agreed with many of the points being made by Father Michael Pfleger and Medgar Evers. We can’t have Barack Obama agreeing with someone who agrees with someone he’s supposed to disagree with. That wouldn’t make any sense in such a rational election environment. Obama already understands where I’m coming from on this, since he missed the 40th anniversary marking Dr. King’s assassination. Good job!

3) The other black “rabble rousers” - While we’re at it, we should also denounce Malcolm X (of course), Marcus Garvey, the Nation of Islam, Cornel West, Michael Eric Dyson, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Julianne Malveaux and anyone else who brings up this stupid racism thing which we all know doesn’t exist. We can get Ward Connerly for the denunciation press conference. He’s got black skin, so he’ll do.

4) Harriet Tubman and Frederick Douglass - Tubman and Douglass are shoe-ins, since they contrast with the great American slave owners George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin. You obviously can’t have our president supporting the ideas of someone who conflicts with our country’s greatest American heroes. The president should be 100% patriotic, and patriotism obviously mandates unconditional acceptance of your nation and its leaders, both past and present. Michelle Obama learned of the necessity of unconditional acceptance with her snotty little “proud of my country for the first time” comments. We also know that Jeremiah Wright wasn’t patriotic. Pastor Wright’s little stint in the Marines was nothing more than a publicity stunt, and it’s a myth that Trinity United was one of the most respected black churches in America. If it was so well-respected, then why did Oprah leave after only 8 years?

5) Fried chicken or any other kind of soul food - This unhealthy African-American habit should not be embraced by our nation’s president. We can’t have our president endorsing the idea of high cholesterol. Obama should try eating whatever it is they eat on Seinfeld; that might work.


6) Hip Hop music and culture - I am not sure how any sitting president can support the vile, disgusting behavior of those hippity-hoppers. Barack: if they ask you about 50 Cent or Kanye West, deny even knowing who they are. You might also want to add a cherry on top by stating that “George Bush REALLY DOES care about black people”. That will really make em feel good!

7) The electric slide, step shows or any other form of African-American dance….wait a second. It’s ok for black people to sing and dance. We’re licensed for that one. In fact, it’s a requirement. Scratch that one from the list.

Every African American Studies department in America – After all, African American studies departments speak out about racism with all their “hate speech”, and we just can’t have that kind of talk in a fair, integrated society. In fact, an excellent campaign promise would be to get rid of these “racist” departments as soon as Obama is elected. Yeah, that one would really go over with Hillary’s self-proclaimed “Hard working white” supporters. While you’re at it, you might also want to denounce any and all forms of Affirmative Action. Sure, whites have inherited all corporate capital and nearly every good job in America for 400 years, but we can’t have this kind of reverse racism putting unqualified black people into jobs that others truly deserve.

After all of the appropriate denunciations and when the dirty nature of black culture has been sufficiently cleansed, Barack Obama might just be pure enough to be president. He’s already (according to Joe Biden) “the first African American candidate to be so articulate and bright and clean”. Perhaps I should take more showers, since 12 years of post secondary education still hasn’t made me clean cut enough for the world in which I live.

Barack Obama may just want to denounce every black person in America, or at least get rid of the millions who had the audacity to cheer when Father Pfleger and Jeremiah Wright were preaching. He should also denounce the millions of women who cheered when Michelle Obama made her statement about finally being proud of her country. It seems that being silent about the atrocities of the past 400 years is the requirement to get into the White House. I wonder if Jews would be willing to remain silent about the Nazi holocaust in order to have a Jewish president? Probably not, since they seem to actually respect their ancestors by being proud of who they are. How pathetic is that?